Spencer Pratt Tweetstream

Status :@realjeffreyross for American Idol judge! Without him, the panel will be far too talented & recognizable!
Created at : 09/08/10 12:45 AM

Status :RIP Tupac. 14 years later, and we miss you more than ever.
Created at : 09/07/10 9:47 PM

Status :Early onset dementia. Also, feline diabetes. RT @madeleinedenha: what is wrong with you??
Created at : 09/06/10 3:51 PM

Status :Would love to give Karissa Shannon her sex tape back, but it's currently serving as the keystone of my awesome sex tape fort.
Created at : 09/06/10 3:10 PM

Status :Maybe if I threaten to release a solo sex tape, humanity will pay me $5million not to.
Created at : 09/06/10 12:50 PM

Status :John McCain angry that Obama has yet to visit "South of his border." Of course - no one's visited South of McCain's border since 1943.
Created at : 09/05/10 12:55 PM

Status :Everything can be fixed with either flowers or duct tape. Except cancer.
Created at : 09/04/10 8:08 PM

Status :@Kanyewest apologizes to Taylor Swift for his ego - by talking about himself for 100+ tweets.
Created at : 09/04/10 1:30 PM

Status :is riding a bubblegum unicorn - harvesting your dreams.
Created at : 09/03/10 5:55 PM

Status :Snooki's new iPod app invites you to "Spread Snooki." Hope it includes a free paper bag & a handle of vodka.
Created at : 09/03/10 4:18 PM

Status :Congrats to @gousabid for hitting 1M supporters! Join me & sign the petition to bring the #WorldCup to USA http://bit.ly/aMtinp
Created at : 09/02/10 8:36 PM

Status :Don't you hate it when people make don't-you-hate-it-when jokes?
Created at : 09/02/10 5:03 PM

Status :Rapper T.I. arrested for Ecstasy. "Ecstasy?" he said, "Paris Hilton told me it was gum!"
Created at : 09/02/10 11:33 AM

Status :Amateurs diss wordplay. Pros know it's the only way to reach wordclimax.
Created at : 09/01/10 5:38 PM

Status :Discovery Channel gunman obsessed with population control. Now I'm over Kate Gosselin too, but come on!
Created at : 09/01/10 4:41 PM

Status :Juicy Fruit. The most homosexual of the gum varieties.
Created at : 09/01/10 4:01 PM

Status :Bristol Palin wants to "set a good example for all moms!" Sort of missed the boat on that one Bristol.
Created at : 08/31/10 1:28 PM

Status :@mtvNews - Lol, I'm an @mtv star? When did that happen?
Created at : 08/31/10 12:30 PM

Status :Wanna ask me a question? Starting tomorrow, my assistant will be answering your fan(hate) mail on YouTube. Tweet your query now!
Created at : 08/31/10 11:31 AM

Status :Bristol Palin joins Dancing with the Stars - officially cementing the Palins as America's new Beverly Hillbillies! #dwts
Created at : 08/30/10 8:32 PM

Status :@ParisHilton told police she thought the cocaine was gum. Exactly! When you're on coke everything DOES taste like gum!
Created at : 08/30/10 7:01 PM

Status :Life is my oyster! I'm allergic to oysters.
Created at : 08/30/10 5:51 PM

Status :@MTVAngelina: can't talk now - busy building a fort out of sex tapes.
Created at : 08/30/10 5:23 PM

Status :Needs a new career. Luckily - the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are hiring!
Created at : 08/30/10 4:05 PM

Status :Wanna ask me a question? Starting Wednesday, my assistant will be answering your fan/hate mail on YouTube. No subject off limits!
Created at : 08/30/10 1:02 PM

Status :Paris Hilton Thanks Fans for their Support! In other breaking news: Paris Hilton has fans?
Created at : 08/30/10 11:49 AM

Status :#goUSAbid! Be the 1 millionth person to sign the petition to bring the world cup to the USA in 2018 or 2022 - www.gousabid.com
Created at : 08/30/10 11:38 AM

Status :So excited to win an Emmy! Oh wait never mind that was John Stewart.
Created at : 08/29/10 8:53 PM

Status :Paris Hilton arrested for Coke. In other shocking news - Catholic priests like children, & Obama is black.
Created at : 08/28/10 5:00 PM

Status :Paris Hilton arrested for Coke. In other shocking news - Earth is still round, & the sky is still blue.
Created at : 08/28/10 12:53 PM

Status :Michael Lohan to open a Rehab Clinic! I'd make a joke - but it's too damn easy.
Created at : 08/28/10 11:11 AM

Status :I've done lots of bad shit - but at least I'm not responsible for Twilight.
Created at : 08/27/10 5:53 PM

Status :Got a new, hip Apple product! It's so awesome and - fuck it just became obsolete.
Created at : 08/27/10 4:09 PM

Status :is turning over a new leaf. Damnit - this one's also covered in shit!
Created at : 08/27/10 11:03 AM

Status :is inside your dreams.
Created at : 08/27/10 1:44 AM

Status :@HarveyLevinTMZ - you're right, I totally should stop by. But the way Lohan's rotating in and out, I don't think they have the room.
Created at : 08/26/10 8:48 PM

Status :is a majority stockholder in TMZ. Now you understand.
Created at : 08/26/10 4:32 PM

Status :Check out this cool dating site that works! It is free to join. Join now and RT >> http://lx.im/60Fd (Ad)
Created at : 08/26/10 2:16 PM

Status :Would love to share with you the most intimate details of my life - but I don't feel like being sued for mind rape.
Created at : 08/26/10 1:54 PM

Status :The grass is always greener, unless you live nextdoor to the elderly.
Created at : 08/26/10 10:54 AM

Status :Bob Dylan to release New Record - his first since becoming an undead zombie.
Created at : 08/25/10 2:57 PM

Status :Not true @georgelopez! Everyone knows the spare Heidi parts went to landmine victims!
Created at : 08/24/10 7:41 PM

Status :Jennifer Aniston's "the Switch" bombs. The real switch would've been if a Jennifer Aniston movie made money.
Created at : 08/24/10 6:16 PM

Status :"Spencer Pratt spotted in Costa Rica." LIES. I may be striped, but I've NEVER been spotted.
Created at : 08/24/10 4:54 PM

Status :John Lennon had a guitar. Picasso had an paintbrush. And I have a sex tape.
Created at : 08/24/10 11:01 AM

Status :Yo @kanyewest - imma let you finish, but Spencer Pratt's the biggest douchebag of all time!
Created at : 08/23/10 8:08 PM

Status :needs to star in a sitcom with @kanyewest.
Created at : 08/23/10 7:52 PM

Status :@perezhilton That's a horrible idea. You know Pratts eat their young. On second thought - it is lunchtime.....
Created at : 08/23/10 1:34 PM

Status :@perezhilton says I impregnated @heidimontag. Absolutely FALSE. Pratts reproduce asexually.
Created at : 08/23/10 1:06 PM

Status :Wouldn't be releasing a sex tape - but no one bought my encyclopedia on 17th century Croatian wine.
Created at : 08/23/10 11:33 AM

Status :@heidimontag needs to grow up.
Created at : 08/22/10 6:54 PM

Status :Embrace Chaos.  A new cologne by Spencer Pratt.
Created at : 08/22/10 6:31 PM

Status :The sex tape will not feature any bisexuality.  It will however feature trisexuality.  Also - a triceratops.
Created at : 08/22/10 11:22 AM

Status :@HeidiMontag Seriously? You're going to start shit on twitter?
Created at : 08/22/10 12:02 AM

Status :Recommends you wait for the Special Edition Sex Tape. Blu-Ray, director's commentary, & bloopers!
Created at : 08/21/10 6:18 PM

Status :Promises you the Citizen Kane of sex tapes. Honestly, Orson Wells makes a guest appearance.
Created at : 08/21/10 3:54 PM

Status :Shia LeBouf Confirms Involvement in 5th Indiana Jones. In doing so, also confirms film will SUCK ASS.
Created at : 08/21/10 1:43 PM

Status :People ask how to be as clever as me. I tell them to huff gasoline. It ensures they never will be.
Created at : 08/20/10 1:57 PM

Status :After so many long years, I JUST had a date. It was FANTASTIC. They're best with almonds, or as a syrup.
Created at : 08/20/10 12:54 PM

Status :Love is in the air! Nevermind- just paint fumes.
Created at : 08/19/10 6:43 PM

Status :Spencer Pratt + Gary Busey = Destiny
Created at : 08/19/10 5:45 PM

Status :Wondering who should play me in the movie based on my new book?
Created at : 08/19/10 5:11 PM

Status :The new book will be equal parts Tolstoy & Hemingway. Maybe less Tolstoy than Hemingway. http://bit.ly/bhgYgj
Created at : 08/19/10 2:01 PM

Status :Thank you everyone for helping spread the word about the dangers of texting & driving. It's a message that will save lives.
Created at : 08/19/10 10:55 AM

Status :PLS DNT TXT + DRIVE. Please RT. Thank you.
Created at : 08/18/10 8:43 PM

Status :PLS DNT TXT + DRIVE. Please RT. Thank you.
Created at : 08/18/10 3:28 PM

Status :Dr. Ryan's death, while tragic and heartbreaking, is a stark reminder of the dangers of texting while driving. DON'T DO IT.
Created at : 08/18/10 3:05 PM

Status :Would love to retire! Unfortunately for you, I have nothing to retire from.
Created at : 08/18/10 1:25 PM

Status :Children's eyes are so full of wonder. It's hard to extract - but an ice cream scoop and a good syringe work well.
Created at : 08/18/10 11:15 AM

Status :Check out this cool dating site that works! It is free to join. Join now and RT >> http://bit.ly/aGye49 (Ad) http://fb.me/vI3CCrTk
Created at : 08/17/10 7:47 PM

Status :Yes - the curtains definitely match the drapes. The dining room area rug is plaid.
Created at : 08/17/10 7:11 PM

Status :Funny - I don't recall starring in this documentary.... http://tiny.cc/bv2fm
Created at : 08/17/10 5:11 PM

Status :MTV recommends I date Kate Gosselin. I think she'd be too much of a fame-whore - even for me! http://at.mtv.com/IcD
Created at : 08/17/10 4:47 PM

Status :There's no bitches like show bitches. Like no bitches I know!
Created at : 08/16/10 9:06 PM

Status :Tom Cruise calls Suri his "fountain of youth." It's true! Daily doses of children's blood promotes immortality.
Created at : 08/16/10 6:37 PM

Status :Mel Gibson says he's "fine" despite his recent car crash. His psychiatrist might disagree.
Created at : 08/16/10 6:22 PM

Status :Lindsey Lohan could MURDER someone & STILL get off with 3 days in jail, and a week in rehab.
Created at : 08/16/10 1:18 PM

Status :Topless Tila Tequila attacked by Juggalos. How upsetting must your jugs be, to enrage self-proclaimed Juggalos?
Created at : 08/16/10 12:39 PM

Status :not listening to @kaynewest or @justinbieber on Monday morning! Listening to @taylorswift13 "MINE"
Created at : 08/16/10 9:05 AM

Status :@mtv http://bit.ly/bnv648 just sent Tony Disanto trailer for 3D BooBs
Created at : 08/16/10 8:53 AM

Status :is thinking about you. No not you. YOU!
Created at : 08/16/10 8:38 AM

Status :tweets from 42,000 feet. Loving this Citation X the fastest operative civilian jet with speed of Mach 0.92
Created at : 08/15/10 12:57 PM

Status :is seriously considering a run for mayor of Wasilla, AK. Apparently the only prereq is being a douche-bag.
Created at : 08/15/10 12:33 PM

Status :Montana Fishburne considers herself a "role model." When'd "role model" and "hooker" switch definitions?
Created at : 08/14/10 1:43 PM

Status :Sure my 15 minutes of fame are over - if you're using lame-o Earth clocks. On Jupiter I've got at LEAST a half-hour left.
Created at : 08/13/10 5:15 PM

Status :Life is like a box of chocolates. I HATE chocolates.
Created at : 08/12/10 1:44 PM

Status :Tower 69 casting call! Upload your audition to Youtube, and tweet me the link. I'll share the best ones, and you may even make the movie!
Created at : 08/11/10 11:29 PM

Status :Now that J-Lo's out - I think the new American Idol judge is rather obvious.
Created at : 08/11/10 4:24 PM

Status :First exclusive look @ the script for my new film - Tower 69: Beach Patrol! http://twitpic.com/2dsbio
Created at : 08/11/10 3:25 PM

Status :Bill O'Reilly thinks Jennifer Aniston is destructive to society. When did he become such a comedian?
Created at : 08/11/10 2:46 PM

Status :Hey Scott Pilgrim - seems you forgot Ramona's 8th evil ex-boyfriend.
Created at : 08/11/10 1:15 PM

Status :is the biggest celebrity ever. By at LEAST 2 inches.
Created at : 08/10/10 7:47 PM

Status :You can marry an alien in America if you want! Ask Heidi - she married me!
Created at : 08/10/10 4:43 PM

Status :May be a douche-bag - but I'm your douche-bag.
Created at : 08/10/10 11:33 AM

Status :@JustinBieber's head seems to constantly attract inanimate objects. http://tinyurl.com/3a6xfdb
Created at : 08/09/10 11:16 PM